Learning from the mistakes of others is one of the most valuable things we can learn to do and seeing how things work out for friends who are resolving family disputes during a divorce can be very eye-opening and informative. This is especially true when things don’t work out well for them financially, so what have we learnt from others about what to do and what not to do when it comes to divorce?
Prenuptial agreements
Prenups can save thousands of pounds and a lot of stress, although they are not always binding. A court can overrule a prenuptial agreement if it perceives that it has either not been signed voluntarily, or that it is in some way unfair to one party. It usually costs between £1000 to £2000 to have one drawn up, but they are still not commonplace in the UK, with only one in five married couples having a prenuptial in place according to the Marriage Foundation.
Managing your finances
Having separate bank accounts, as well as a joint account, is a sensible way of managing your finances as a couple. This grants each spouse a level of autonomy as well as safeguarding your ability to function financially in the event of a divorce. Income can be controlled more easily this way, however, it is likely that one party may need to continue to support the other financially.
Being transparent
It is important to be open and honest about your finances both during your marriage and during the divorce process. Both solicitors representing the divorcing spouses, and the court itself, will require detailed financial disclosures from each party, so it is a good idea to ensure to keep personal accounts and documentation up to date, and safe.
Look after your career
It is not unusual for one spouse to sacrifice their career aspirations in order to raise a family, whilst the other focuses on climbing the career ladder, but this can leave the former at a disadvantage after a divorce, so it is advisable to keep your foot in the career door during your marriage, even if it just through part-time, casual or voluntary work, to make sure you are in a position to support yourself in the event of a divorce.
Look after you
Divorces are known for putting people through a lot of stress and anxiety, sometimes worsened by social isolation due to the impact on mutual relationships and social circles. Most people report some degree of mental health struggles during the divorce process, with more than a quarter experiencing depression according to the Mental Health charity, Mind. The good news is that there is help and support out there, either from the NHS or from organisations such as Mind, The Samaritans, Anxiety UK, CALM and more. Reaching out can be hard, but it’s the right thing to do.
Time out
Taking some time out for yourself amidst all the chaos of a divorce is really important. If finances are a concern, simple activities such as practising mindfulness, going for walks, coffee or meeting a friend can really help lift your mood and give you space to work through complex emotions and problem solving.
Get professional advice and support early
Some people are tempted to try to navigate the earlier stages of a divorce by themselves. This is not a good idea where negotiating a financial settlement is concerned. At the very least you should be seeking advice from a qualified solicitor even if you do complete some paperwork yourself. If you don’t, you could easily come to regret it, and it could end up costing you more down the line.