Telly star Noel Edmonds has launched a scathing attack on Britain’s motoring laws – and called for speed cameras, double yellow lines and town centre parking charges to be scrapped.
The Deal or No Deal host claims police and highways officials treat motorists ”like idiots” and have taken all pleasure out of driving.
So he has outlined a string of ground-breaking measures he would like the new coalition government to implement.
The former Top Gear host would scrap traffic lights at roundabouts, remove speed bumps and bus lanes, and allow shoppers to park for free in town centres.
He said: ”Tesco don’t charge you so why should your local council? Oh, and I’ll remove all double yellow lines so you can park near the shop you need.
”Parked cars and pot holes are excellent ‘traffic calming’ measures so goodbye to all that speed hump and chicane nonsense.
”The roundabout was invented to aid traffic flow and some town hall numpty puts up costly lights that operate regardless of traffic flow, causing longer journey times and therefore reduced productivity.”
Noel, who once admitted driving a Ford GT at 186mph while NAKED, calls for speed cameras to be scrapped and cars to instead be fitted with buttons which limit their speed to 20, 30 or 40mph at the touch of a button.
He would also introduce a tiered driving test where motorists need to pass further exams to drive powerful sports cars.
”The present situation whereby the same driving licence applies to a Nissan Micra or a Bugatti Veyron is absolutely nuts,” he wrote in a newspaper column.
”It’s also madness that you get a licence at 17 and are never tested again until all your hair and teeth have fallen out and you’re on first name terms at Specsavers.
”So, there will be different grades of licence according to what you wish to drive and bi-annual retesting to include stringent medical checks.”
The 61-year-old has recently clashed with civic chiefs in Bristol – where he lives and films Deal or No Deal – over traffic management in the city.
Earlier this year he was caught driving a Hackney taxi to work so he could use bus lanes and even installed a full-size mannequin called Candice in the back to look like a passenger.
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He really is just turning into Alan Partridge.