The University Fresher’s Guide to Vaping

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At the end of September and beginning of October, the cities of the UK are filled with excited, slightly confused out-of-towners trying to find somewhere to sit and get drunk for the next three years. They’re the university freshmen, or “Freshers” and at the start of each year they get a week to acclimatize to Uni life.

If you’re heading off to Fresher’s Week, you’ll have an idea of what to bring. Kettle, phone, emergency Pot Noodles, laptop, a couple of books you’ll never read.

But if you’re also taking a vape, then you need to do some reading that’s not on your course. Start with this article, and your Fresher’s Week should go brilliantly.

Here’s our advice.

Don’t be “The Vape Guy.”

On Fresher’s Week, you’ll meet dozens and dozens of new people. That means everyone picks up a nickname. The lad you see snogging three different girls in one night? He’s either the Legend or the Snake. The girl with daddy’s black card and an attitude? Princess. The red-head? Ginger.

Nobody said nicknames are inventive.

But the thing about your Freshers nickname is that it ends up forming your first impression with anyone. If you talk about nothing but vaping, you’ll be The Vape Guy, and nobody who doesn’t want a 20 minute conversation about ohm’s law and variable resistance ecigarette coils will invite you to parties.

Still, means you’ll get to stay in with Boring Dave. I bet he’s fun.

Watch out for smoke alarms

There’s one in every hall of residence. Sometimes it’s a guy who decided he was going to look “cool” with a huge cigar. Sometimes it’s a “health-conscious” girl who decided to soak up all the Jagerbombs with toast instead of cheesy chips. But there’s always one.

The person who sets off the smoke alarm at 4am, leading to a hundred people in various states of undress standing in the rain while one seriously miffed fireman delivers a lecture on not triggering the smoke alarm.

It won’t work. They’ll do it again, three times a semester, until they’re bundled into a fire-proof flat for the second year.

What’s this got to do with vaping though? Well, a high VG eliquid can easily set off a smoke alarm. Even if you’re allowed to vape in your bedroom, it’s always best to make sure everything is well ventilated. Otherwise your new best friends will have to learn to sleep in their coats.

Careful who you share with

Alright mate, what are you vaping there? Raspberry Ripple eliquid? Sounds great, let me have a go. Wow, that’s good, let my mate try some…

Yeah, Fresher’s is all about bonding. Making new friends. But you still need to keep it hygienic. Fresher’s Flu isn’t a myth. When you get people from all over the country – or the world – and throw them into a flat or a hall of residence, then don’t let them sleep more than four hours or eat anything but takeaway and Nandos, well that’s a recipe for all sorts of colds and bugs.

Letting the guy you just met who looks like he forgot to pack a toothbrush slobber on your vape’s drip tip is just asking for trouble.

And take it from someone who knows, Fresher’s Flu is going to be the worst 48 hours you’ve ever experienced.

Don’t get thrown out

Here’s the thing about Freshers’ Week. It’s the time you make loads of hilarious mistakes that you and your brand new mates will laugh about for the next three years. So if you’re going to get in trouble, make sure it’s doing something funny (and NOT illegal).

Being the bloke who accidentally turned up to a social dressed as Scooby Doo because his flatmate insisted it was a fancy dress party is a story you’ll still be laughing about at your ten year reunion.

Being the person who was thrown out of a club for blowing clouds from a fat box mod, or who got marched off campus for a sly drag on a vape in the canteen just makes you look like a bit of a fool.

So make sure you don’t vape where you shouldn’t vape. Because nobody has any stories to tell from the night they spent sat on the couch while all her new friends were still having the best night ever.

Your Fresher’s Week should be fun, exciting and memorable. Follow our instructions, and you’ll have a great time.

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