Parents’ anger over crude school play for 12-year-olds where characters ‘Bob and Nob’ go on the lookout for “nookie” with Essex girls


Angry parents have blasted a school for making children as young as 12 learn a “sexist” play where characters use derogatory chat-up lines to try and get drunk Essex girls into bed.

Jo Bucknell from Banbury is concerned about her son Ethan's school script for Too Much Punch for Judy ( © Newsteam / SWNS Group)
Jo Bucknell from Banbury is concerned about her son Ethan’s school script for Too Much Punch for Judy ( © Newsteam / SWNS Group)

Pupils at The Warriner School, in Bloxham, Oxon, were given the play “Too Much Punch for Judy” by Mark Wheeller to take home to revise last weekend (27/6).

But mums and dads were stunned when they saw the saucy script contained crude dialogue from male characters on the lookout for “nooky.”

In the text two friends – named Bob and Nob – go searching for “talent”  and talk about plying “tasty” Essex girls with booze to stop them thinking before “going in for the kill.”

The characters also use their favourite chat-lines on girls including :””Like your dress, darlin’… It’d look better on my bedroom floor!”

One line goes to say: “What’s that… a ladder in your tights? Or a stairway to heaven!” while another come-on reads: “How do you like your eggs in the morning?Fertilised?”

There are also references to Nob not wearing any underwear before playing “billiards.. in his pockets” when he sees “hot girls” during their night out.

One mum Jo Bucknell was helping son Ethan, 12, do his homework on Sunday evening (28/6) and said she was gobsmacked when she read the script.

The 35-year-old, from Banbury, Oxon. said she believed the content was entirely inappropriate and way too too mature for a Year 8 pupil.

Warriner School (Newsteam / SWNS)
Warriner School (Newsteam / SWNS)

She added: “Ethan gave me the piece of paper and said he has to learn this for school, but when I read it I was absolutely gobsmacked.

“I said there is no way you are learning this and that it was obviously a mistake by the school.

“I went into reception on Monday (1/7) to try to speak to someone and spoke to a drama teacher before the head of department phoned me back at lunchtime.

“You try to raise your children in the right way and this just blows it all out of the water.

“They just cannot seem to get that this is inappropriate for a child of Ethan’s age.”

Another mum-of-three Eileen Goodall, 45, from Banbury, said the “disgusting” play essentially promoted rape.

She added: “This play is completely not suitable for young children.

“It talks about getting girls so drunk in order to take advantage of them – it does sent out the right message at all. It almost promotes rape.

“It is just crass and crude and I cannot see any educational value in teaching youngsters derogatory chat-up lines like these.”

But one dad-of-two Geoffery Newman, 49, added: “Its got a serious message and the chat-up lines are more something from a Carry-On film. Its harmless fun really.

“If parents think their children are not hearing worse than this at secondary school already, they must be living under a rock.”

Dr Annabel Kay, head teacher at the school defended the play and said it had a serious message about the dangers of drink driving.

She added: “The play is aimed at Key Stage Three and Key Stage Four children and we check across all the schools nationally to see if they perform this play and they do.

“We have moved the whole school up a term early so the pupil is now in Year 9 and so the play is aimed for children in his age group.

“It is about raising awareness of the issue of drink driving and there are challenges. It is actually making children think and challenge their own perceptions.

“It is very hard-hitting sometimes, but we would not use this play if it wasn’t used in schools across the country.”

‘Too Much Punch For Judy’ was inspired by the tragic events of May 20, 1983, in which 25-year-old Joanna Poulton from Shelley, in Essex, died from head injuries  in a car crash.

Her drunk sister Toni, who was driving careered into the railings on a bridge in North Weald, Essex.

Toni went on to marry into rock royalty when she wed Steve Marriott, lead singer of the Small Faces in July 1989.

Tragedy struck again when the star, who rose to fame with hits such as Itchycoo Park and Lazy Sunday, died aged 44 in a mystery fire at their cottage in Arkesden, Essex, in April 1991.

Then, in 1993 Toni – now 45 – crashed her Vauxhall Astra GTE and killed her passenger Penny Jessup, 21, just metres from where Joanna had died.

Police found she was nearly three times over the drink-drive limit at the time and she was jailed for five years for causing death by dangerous driving and driving while over the drink-drive limit.

The tragic story prompted Mark Wheeller (corr), 56, then a drama teacher in Epping, Essex, to write the play 25 years ago to change people’s attitudes towards drink-driving.

The Warriner School is co-educational secondary which caters for more than 1,100 pupils aged 11 to 18. It received a ‘Good’ Ofsted rating in November 2014.


Bob: Bob…
Nob: …and Nob!
Bob: Looking good with slicked back hair.
Nob: Feeling “cool”… no underwear!
Bob: With throbbing… can’t get enough of it – bloody tone.
Nob: That’s why they call us…
Bob & Nob: (Pause)… “Testosterone”
Bob: We are on the lookout!
Nob: Fishing line and hook out!
Bob: Watering the nookey drought!
Bob & Nob: Sample Bob and Nob’s favourite chat up lines…
Bob: Like your dress darlin’…
Bob & Nob: it’d look better on my bedroom floor!
Bob: What’s that… a ladder in your tights?
Bob & Nob: Or a stairway to heaven!… Grab your coat… you’ve pulled!
Nob: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Bob & Nob: Fertilised?… On with the play.
Nob: Not much talent tonight Bob.
Bob: Patience little Nob.
Nob: Bob and Nob wait… patiently…
Bob & Nob: … very patiently…
Bob: When suddenly…
Bob & Nob: (looking at two hot girls) Whoo!… Tasty!…
Nob: Eyes are popping out of our sockets…
Bob: Nob’s playing “billiards”… in his pockets.
Bob & Nob: Essex girls!!!
Nob: Get ’em drinking.
Bob: Stop ’em thinking.
Bob & Nob: In for the kill and grab it!


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