When Cheryl Anderson, 27, threw husband Tam, 29, out after an Internet affair he secretly went to Mexico to meet his chatroom lover, Carla Santos, a 29-year-old American. However on his flight home he was arrested at the airport for an alleged sexual assault and now five-months-pregnant Cheryl is having to work with Carla to get him out of Jail…
Sitting in the hospital bed for my 12 week scan I was so excited to see the first picture of my new baby. I was also incredibly nervous.
I thought back to the scans I’d had of my three children with my husband Tam: son Morgan, eight, and daughters Mackenzie, four and Francesca, 20 months.
We’d been married eight years and had three wonderful children after I met his family in Ibiza in September 1999.
We spoke every night when we got home and he came to visit on my 18th birthday in March 2000.
We were so in love he moved down for good in May and we married eight months later.
He had attended all of our childrens’ scans with me and would squeeze my hand tightly to make me feel safe.
I’d had a stillborn baby during my first pregnancy in 1998 and despite having three healthy babies since I could never shake that feeling of fear.
He’s squeeze my hand, his smiling eyes reassuring me that my baby was healthy. Every scan he would be there to share the joy as our baby grew.
But Tam wasn’t with me this time. I had my friend Gail with me instead.
He was back home in Scotland after I’d asked him to leave.
We had planned to have a child and had been trying since September 2008. We’d had a bit of a rough year after Tam lost his warehouse job and we had started to argue about money but 2009 was supposed to be a fresh start for us.
However, my world shattered just days after celebrating my pregnancy.
I’d picked up his mobile phone to use the calculator tool and saw a text from him to a foreign number.
“I love you and I miss you.”
I felt sick to the stomach.
When I confronted him about the texts he said he wasn’t having an affair, it was just a friend he had made on the internet. He said her name was Carla and she was an American with two children and a partner.
For a while I’d been having doubts. He’d been spending lots of time on the internet and I knew he’d been on chat-rooms – something he had always said he had been against.
“How would you feel if I was emailing and exchanging numbers with men in chat-rooms?” I asked him.
“I’ll set you up on one if you like,” he replied.
I couldn’t think of anything worse and I hated my own husband was suggesting such a thing.
He promised not to contact this woman again but he did.
When a phone bill came through with hundreds of pounds racked up to the same international number I couldn’t take it anymore and on March 18th I gave him an ultimatum:
“You either say goodbye to her or you say goodbye to us.”
He was still denying an affair so he packed his bags and kissed Francesca goodbye- coldly left without saying a word.
I think he expected me to take him back but I encouraged myself to stay strong and not give in.
After a while his brother called to let me know Tam had gone to Mexico. I was so confused.
“How did he pay for his flights?” I asked. I had access to his accounts still and I saw he had absolutely no money.
A few days later I got a call from Tam.
He was in a Mexican police station and said he’d been stitched up for groping a woman’s breast and bottom. I knew straight away there was no way he could have done that. He was a flirt but he would never force himself on anybody.
He asked me to contact the Home Office and every day I would ring for updates.
I have also had to stay in touch with Carla, the woman behind my family break up.
Part of me just wants to scream at her but for now I have to rely on her for information, as she is out there dealing with lawyers and police. I hate that she holds the key to everything.
I’m so scared to have a failed marriage behind me and I think part of me hopes he will have time in jail to reflect on the importance of our family and maybe it will change him for the good.
But I also know I deserve someone who treats me with respect and love.
I have told my eldest son Morgan that he was arrested for being a good man. I don’t want them to think badly of their dad and I’m leaving it open for him to come back and have a relationship with them when he comes out.
There was a time when I wanted him home with me but now I just want him out safe so he can be a father to my children. I owe it to my unborn baby and to myself to strive for my own happiness and I will do all I can to achieve that.
Image courtesy of Casey Serin