The need for certainty is a defining characteristic of authoritarians and psychologists measure it with the ‘Uncertainty Avoidance Index’, or UAI. A new science fiction novel expands on a theory blaming that irrational need for certainty, and the fear it causes, on misdirected sex energy.
In “Groganzola! Princess Noodle Head and the Sex Zombies from Earth“, author Ard Falten wraps a zany adventure around the idea that humanity is doomed because the wrong side of the brain is getting the ‘energy’ meant for stimulating reproduction.
The right hand is connected to the side of the brain for math and logic and the left hand is connected to the side of the brain for emotion, creativity, and orgasm. Learning sex with the right hand burns in neural associations that divert impatient satisfaction-demanding ‘energy’ away from the pleasure centers and into parts of the brain that are supposed to be patient and objective.
The book could stimulate new research in psychology, sociology, and anthropology. It points out that the problem grew when civilizations began delaying the age of reproduction and suggests that our social and religious institutions encourage greed and authoritarianism by increasing frustration levels and inhibiting appropriate education.
This taboo subject is treated with slapstick comedy no more explicit than a Judd Apatow movie or Monty Python skit. Set in the US in the near future, and with a Trump-like president, the dreaded groganzola is blamed for everything from smaller orgasms to galactic-scale destruction.
GREED: Where numbers are processed, that energy wants more, bigger, faster. The novel suggests it is major source of irrational greed.
FEAR AND AUTHORITARIANISM: Where logic is done, that impatient horny energy wants quick easy answers to get the thinking over with. It wants conclusion and certainty. Since “nothing is certain”, the need for certainty produces stress and fear. Certainty becomes more important than truth and it becomes easy, even pleasurable (as explained in the book), to accept lies. The ‘best’ authoritarian leaders project royal certitude. They are never wrong, promise order, and paint the world in simple black and white.
MISOGYNY: The book comically explains how anatomical differences make ‘groganzola’ worse for men, turning women into sources of uncertainty to be feared, objectified, and controlled. In the left side of the brain beauty and pleasure are measured with numbers.
“Right handed masturbation makes men greedy, frightened, and foolish. Most important, it makes them easy to control,” explains a villain as he lays out the ancient secret of power with a model of a human brain and a horny stallion.
The villain warns of dire consequences if the heroine and the alien are able to stop groganzola on Earth. “Nature’s uncertainty will stimulate imagination instead of fear. Dormant brain functions will awaken. Earth’s traditional power structures will collapse. And, women will be equal with men.”
Read more at:nogroganzola.com.
