Author Archive: SWNS Reporter

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Biscuit-scoffing burglar jailed after DNA is found on juice carton

September 27, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A ”sweet-tooth” burglar who broke into homes and scoffed biscuits, chocolates and ice cream has been jailed after his DNA was found – on a discarded fruit juice carton. Adam Bishop-Bridges, 21, was jailed for three-and-a-half years after he admitted carrying out a spree of 16 burglaries over a four week period. He smashed his…

Bodyguard could be father of Michael Jackson’s son Blanket

September 27, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Michael Jackson’s former bodyguard Matt Fiddes today claimed how he donated sperm to the pop star – and believes he could be the father of Jacko’s son Blanket. Martial arts expert Matt, 29, says he donated the sperm in 2001 after Jackson told him he wanted an ”athletic” child. The following year Blanket was born…

Smokers spend one year of their lives on fag breaks

September 27, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

The average smoker wastes more than ONE YEAR of their working lives on fag breaks – despite the credit crunch, it was revealed yesterday. Smokers take four 15-minute smoking breaks a day – costing employers 240 working hours a year. That’s a staggering 10,680 hours during the average puffer’s working lifetime of 44.5 years –…

Engineers reveal ‘DEMON’ – the world’s first flapless plane

September 27, 2010 | by | 2 Comments

British engineers have developed the world’s first ”flapless” plane – that uses hundreds of tiny AIR JETS to control its movements. The DEMON uses output from the jets to control airflow over the plane, manipulating lift and drag without using traditional flapping mechanisms to steer. Its developers believe the technology could revolutionise the stealth capabilities…

Drink-driving ‘pirate’ banned after crashing Land Rover into golf bunker

September 27, 2010 | by | 1 Comment

A 28-year-old has been banned from driving after he was found asleep in his car – in a GOLF BUNKER. Reckless Timothy Hudson had been at a party dressed as a pirate when he got into his Land Rover. Despite drinking seven pints he drove across a golf course and crashed into a golf bunker…

The oldest gays in the village: Couple celebrate 50th anniversary

September 27, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Proud Paul Pollard and boyfriend Ted Spring have celebrated their 50th anniversary together – and Britain’s longest gay relationship. Dedicated Paul, 72, met Ted, 73, in a club half a century ago and the devoted couple say it was ”love at first sight”. Paul was a 22-year-old chef at the time and Ted was then…

Gordon Bennett 2010: The oldest, slowest aerial race begins in style

September 27, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

The world’s oldest air race has taken off from Britain for the first time as adventurer David Hempleman-Adams attempts to regain his crown. A total of 20 balloons flew from a field near Bristol on Saturday all hoping to win the 54th Gordon Bennett Cup. The historic trophy is awarded to the team which flies…

Schoolboy is Britain’s youngest cricket umpire

September 27, 2010 | by | 2 Comments

A 15-year-old school boy has bowled his way into the record books – after becoming Britain’s youngest CRICKET UMPIRE. Pint-sized Ethan Peel has just qualified as an official umpire after studying for the qualification at Oxford Brookes University. On Saturday Ethan, dubbed ‘the new Dickie Bird’, completed his BTEC Intermediate Certificate in Cricket Umpiring on…

Police hunt transsexual and wife who disappeared – leaving daughter behind

September 27, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

Police were yesterday hunting a transsexual and his wife who have disappeared – leaving their ten-year-old daughter behind. Charlotte and Jake Addams went missing from their home on April 21 and have made no contact with family or friends since. Officers say Jake – also known as Amyrose – was going through a gender reassignment…

Lesbian porn star Teresa Scott becomes born again Christian

September 24, 2010 | by | 2 Comments

Bad girl Teresa, 32, stopped being a real goer and became a churchgoer after seeing the light last year.

Chain smoking whisky drinker celebrates 100th birthday

September 24, 2010 | by | 8 Comments

A lifelong chain-smoker has celebrated reaching his 100th birthday – despite puffing his way through nearly 300,000 fags. Hard-living Arthur Langran has smoked at least 10 cigarettes a day since the age of 20. The father-of-two also religiously drinks a dram of Macallan single malt Scotch whiskey every evening before getting into bed. Arthur, of…

Cruel pranksters dye cat bright pink

September 24, 2010 | by | 25 Comments

Animal welfare officers are hunting animal abusers who abandoned this cat after dying it bright PINK – to look like BAGPUSS. The fluffy female, thought to be between one and two years old, was tossed over a fence into a back garden in Swindon, Wilts. Its white fur had been dyed bright pink from tip…

Badly burned child makes remarkable recovery

September 24, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A five-year-old boy who was horrifically burned when a cooker set fire to his pyjamas has made a remarkable recovery after 16 months of treatment. Logan Adams, then aged three, accidentally turned on the gas cooker when he clambered up to reach biscuits from a cupboard in May last year. Flames engulf his pyjamas and…

Paedophile postman jailed for sexual abuse

September 24, 2010 | by | 1 Comment

A postman who used social networking sites to groom up to 1,000 children – some of whom he sexually abused – was jailed for eight-and-a-half years today. Vile Michael Williams, 28, used different ‘profiles’ to target children he met on his post round, while doing schools runs as taxi driver, and as the secretary of…

Rottweiler praised for chasing off sex fiend

September 24, 2010 | by | 2 Comments

A hero dog which was praised by a judge after he chased off a sex attacker who indecently assaulted a woman will today receive TWO bravery awards. Two-year-old rottweiler Jake was on his usual evening walk with owner Liz Maxted-Bluck, 49, when he heard screaming from a dense woodland and ran to investigate. He found…

Bank worker suspended for bragging about redundancy payout

September 24, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

A bank worker has been suspended after she boasted about getting a £6,000 redundancy payout from the Royal Bank of Scotland – on FACEBOOK. Debt officer Katie Furlong, 23, posted her comments minutes after her bosses at the scandal-hit bank announced they were axing 3,500 jobs. She bragged to pals that it was ”the best…

Englishman wins World Cup Subbuteo championships

September 24, 2010 | by | 0 Comments

English football has finally enjoyed cup success in a penalty shoot-out – at table-top SUBBUTEO. Patriotic Englishman Darren Clarke, 38, took the World Subbuteo Masters title by beating Italian Massimilano Nastasi on spot kicks in a tense final. After a miserable performance by England’s footballers at this summer’s World Cup, Clarke’s miniature men put opposition…